Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Day I Became the Smiling Buddha - Enlightenment of the letting go of pain

The Day I Became the Smiling Buddha

I attended a meditation class at a Darhma Center. 
I had never studied Buddhism I learned through my own experiences things which are described by the teachings. I had only meditated a few times without any success of shutting my mind up.
I attended this Darhma center because too many people have stated for me to go within to find what I was looking for. I have gained most of my spiritual understanding through much pain and decided it was time to retire my pain guru and to start a spiritual practice.

After exercising a series of different types of meditation they began going through the basic philosophy of Buddhism.

They went over third pattern or category of dukkha which refers to a basic unsatisfactoriness permeating all forms of life as all forms of life are impermanent and constantly changing. On this level, the term indicates a lack of satisfaction, a sense that things never measure up to our expectations or standards. This subtle dissatisfaction is referred to as the dukkha of conditioned states.

So they had mentioned Dukkha and then went on, to speak of the noble truths and the paths. Although I had never known what Dukkha meant (I assumed it meant shit) I found out what it was and when I accepted it, it as in Dukkha, in a sense set me free. That those things I have spent my whole life looking for, which brought me lack of satisfaction with life. Well once I accepted that there will never be satisfaction and it will be that way all of a sudden I was free from the expectations. I was lighter and it made me smile.

I shared with the group how I had lived on the street as a child and I have looked for love and community my whole life. I have been the bird in the Dr. Suess story looking every where for my mother. Mother meaning love in this case. Are you my mother? I have searched. So I explained I have decided a spiritual practice of meditation, to look within. At that moment I came to the realization that regardless of me attempting to look within instead of looking without I was still looking. In that moment I was no longer looking. We closed the conversation in meditation which I was able to achieve with no effort because there was nothing to do, but smile from within and without.


Saturday, February 23, 2013

A tool for those searching for enlightenment - The Magic Story

"The syntactical nature of reality, the real secret of magic, is that the world is made of words. And if you know the words that the world is made of, you can make of it whatever you wish." -Terence McKenna

Anthony asked me the question, "Don't you want to be in love?" Oh I cringe at the question. What deep longing, what deep pain.Why don't I have it? I have been in search of it all my life. I thought maybe it does not exist? Maybe it only exists inside me. I could not understand how I have done the impossible yet my vision of true love or soul-mate has eluded me.

I saw a set of books, that I never did read. I thought I should start reading them. I grabbed the first book and opened it to a random page. It was, The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East page 48

"Since man was created in the image and likeness of God, did not God give man the power to create exactly as He creates? And does not God expect man to use that power as freely as He uses it --and in exactly the same way? By first perceiving the need; then conceiving the good, the ideal, with which to fill the mold that we hold in consciousness and which is to be filled from the Universal Mind Substance; then sending forth the word that it is filled; that it is so, and it is good.

Then I cried and asked myself, why? Why have I not created true love? Then I could not speak and silence came over as my finger went naturally up to my lips, as if someone else was not telling me to be still but showing me. I was breathing heavy feeling as if I needed to catch my breath and then I felt the stillness and a light. I felt tapped into the universal energy or someone deep inside of me. Someone else present inside me. Could this be the Magic Story? I wanted to go back to the stillness, it came and then I thought, I am more powerful now, so I better go pay the power bill.

Speaking of power, I have found a gift for us. There is a book I stumbled across that I have been contemplating since I have read it. It is called, "The Magic Story" It is magical indeed if you are ready to receive. It is a must have for the spiritual library, a book that will some day have a profound understanding for you just as it did for me on this night. Lucky for us the book was published in the 1900's and the author is unknown. Amazingly someone has made it available on line for you to read, for you to see. As you are reading this you are on your way to self awareness. Don't worry if you read it and you do not understand it today. One day when you least expect it, there will be this aww huh moment when you remember the story as it will unfold for you if you really want to know.

Here is a link to a free download of the Magic Story below:

 This is a free link for the actual small but powerful book and you do not need to enter any info to get it. I would love to hear your stories and thoughts, especially those that live the experience of the story, even, if it is a year from now or tomorrow. It will happen if you want it.

Do you feel alone right now? You are a clever disguise of me

I am you and you are me, we have been Job, Jesus, Arjuna, Esther, God, the building we live in, the roads that have been repaved in our city. We have been in hell and we have created heaven on earth.

Yet even though we are one. In the literal sense. You have come to this page, today, at this very moment to read these exact words, even though we are rationalizing or thinking, she can not be talking to me, right now, could she? That is impossible, you say? These words, this clue to the biggest mystery has been put here by you, so that we may read them at this moment to remind us once again, and again, of the biggest mystery of all, that we think we know and understand at times and yet we forget again, that this is the Never Ending Story and we are one and you are not alone this very moment. The Universe is whispering to you, wake up Neo, you are who you are waiting for. The oracle will continue to present situations and words that we need to experience and hear to remind us that you are creating right now,  the possibility of this moment.

 Thank you for reminding me.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

The All American Dream

When I was seventeen my dream was to be a writer, a journalist. I asked a family member that I felt was wiser and richer if I should be a writer. Her reply was that I would starve to death and that I should pick a more secure career.

At 33 I was married, with two children a career I hated and I asked myself where did my dreams go. I wanted that spark again. I wanted to reach enlightenment. I will write about how I achieved that another day.

I then realized I asked the wrong person about following my dreams. I had the All American Dream and had became just like everyone else. Every neighbor with 2.5 kids, white picket fence, two vehicles, and the biggest mortgage we could get to ensure we would have to work the rest of our lives paying interest and maybe even refining to a lower mortgage rate to pay more fees and interest. In the mean time having the all too common same routine, with a cheating husband and becoming like everyone else wanted me to become.

The person I should have asked about following my dreams was myself.